It started again for me about a week and a half ago. A young man in his late 30's. A face I would occasionally see smiling in the halls. He was on his way to work, just like any other day before. Same route, same routine. He was struck by a text messaging while driving 20 year old blowing a stop sign at 70 mph...on his way daily morning commute to work. He was killed instantly. He is survived by his wife and 4 children ranging from 3 to 18. The 12 year old they called shadow because he did everything with his father. Shadow stopped eating for several days in grief. I did not know the Garrett family, nor did I know this man who walked quietly among us. He was a face in a crowd to me... but to his family he was their whole world. And now their whole world lays in shambles, as shattered glass upon the ground. A woman becomes in the blink of an eye, both mother, and father to her heartbroken family. All while trying desperately to keep from drowning in her own grief as well. My heart bleeds for them. Their oldest has Asperger's Syndrome... just like my middle one. My heart breaks for the boy who does not know how to deal with normal feelings let alone with the torrential waterfall of pain, guilt, and grief he now faces. This is just tragic anyway you look at it.
Then a second event hits from out of the blue. I find that another man more familiar then the first, but still an acquaintance has not just fallen ill due to the swine flu, but has actually passed away due to his exposure and contraction of it. This young man was all of 25 years old, healthy, and active. He was known to come into my home and harass my children as a big brother might. He was funny, and friendly, and always willing to give a hand. He was the best friend of a land lord I had while here in Boron. He would come like a shadow attached to my landlord and his wife. Never very far, always quick with a laugh, or a witty remark. Usually at someones expense, but all in good jest. He was a substitute teacher at the High School. So the kids all knew him quite well. He was too young, to healthy, too strong to die. Dialysis, and poor blood gases were no match for him. Dennis Darr was the one who helped take care of his parents when they were in failing health... how on earth did the young, strong, full of life care taker die before the already compromised parents? Tragically lost too soon in a shroud of scary unanswered questions. His celebration of life is to be on this coming Monday. And while I did not know Dennis well, the fact is I did know him, and I liked him. I respected who he was, and what he stood for. And I will go as a quiet observer to support this community, his best friend, his family, and him.
Then today I got to help with a baby shower. To hold a precious little life within my hands, and stroke her soft and tender head. She was alert and her eyes were bright. A tiny miracle of God. She smiled so tenderly at me, and seemed to know with all certainty she was in good hands. It made me ponder so many things. How life is a rare and most precious gift. We have all been granted the time we were given, the experiences we get to have, the blessings we get to embrace and yet none of us knows when that card will be recalled. My PaPa died at 94 years old... it can and does happen all of the time. Carl's grandmother is 93 years old right now. Both with long full abundant lives. And yet there are so many still like my brother in law who died at 38 years old just 2 years ago. My Grandmother who died at 36. Like Mr. Garret in his late 30's, or Mr. Darr at 25.
I have long pondered of this concept and it is written upon the tablet of my heart. Words that seem to have long echoed within my ears over the course of my life, but seem more recently to carry more and more weight. Words I have but just recently passed on to my boyfriend, Carl. Cherish the Moments.
Cherish the Moments we are given, embrace the love as it is given us. The big and the little stuff. The meaningful and the simplistic. Embrace your life, and live it with purpose, drink it in with passion, and pass it forward with love, understanding, and respect.
For me this is people. My children, my beautiful boys, and the moments they choose to smother me with their love, and excitement. My lover, and best friend, and the moments he chooses to hold me, talk to me, and share a piece of himself. My friendships such as those with my dear friends; Amy and Tanya, or those of my work colleagues such as Russell, Stephanie, or Emil. For me it is also cherishing the opportunities and life experiences. Such as the slow dances, the historical NASA events, decorating for the 58 days of Christmas, the quiet dinners out, the sunsets in the desert, the feeling the waves of the ocean crashing upon your feet.
I am grateful for it all. Life is much too short. And in the blink of an eye, anyone of us could be gone. Those around me know me. I ooze love, not just from the heart upon my sleeve but from every breath I exhale. I am not perfect, but I do cherish my moments. I cherish the smiles from strangers, from faces in the crowd. I cherish those who come ever so briefly into my life and touch me and the lives of my children. I cherish the laughter, and energy of my boys. I cherish the love of a good, kind, and long awaited soul mate. I cherish my friends who make me laugh, let me cry, and carry me through. I cherish the gift of a tiny and delicate brand new life, and getting if only for a moment to hold her hand and welcome her to her journey. I cherish the ability I have to help, when a distress call is played. I cherish the joy I get to pass it all forward. I am rich with life, rich with blessings, rich which experiences, and just for the record... my life is Full, and anything from this point forward is just icing on the cake.
I will continue to cherish the moments... today, now more then ever.
Thank You, Lord.
Raaamen!!
ReplyDelete